Brought to you by Molly Roberts Studio and Metaphysical, 253 E Broadway, downtown Excelsior Springs
January is long, the calendar is packed, and wine is doing a lot of emotional heavy lifting.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You’re loudly invested in every boys basketball game, whether you know the score or not. By the weekend, you’re redirecting excess energy into a free throw contest like it’s your redemption arc.
Cosmic Tip: Competitive cheering counts as cardio, but yelling at referees does not.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
This week is all about indulgence: wine tastings, four-course dinners, and absolutely no rush to do anything productive.
Cosmic Tip: If someone questions your third glass of wine, remind them it’s “educational.”
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You’ll talk your way through Lunch with Leaders, dominate conversation at Board Game Intramural, and still feel misunderstood.
Cosmic Tip: Not every thought needs to be shared. But you’ll share it anyway.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You’re emotionally invested in Senior Night, birthday celebrations, and honestly any event that acknowledges people’s feelings.
Cosmic Tip: Crying at a sock hop is unexpected but on brand.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You walk into Steel Magnolias like it’s opening night for you. There will be reactions. Audible ones.
Cosmic Tip: The actors appreciate enthusiasm… just maybe not commentary.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You attend the Seasonal Bed & Maintenance Q&A with intense focus, judging anyone who didn’t bring a notebook.
Cosmic Tip: You don’t need to correct everyone’s mulch strategy. Breathe.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You’re torn between wine dinners, tea, and sound healing, so you do all three and call it “balance.”
Cosmic Tip: Indecision is exhausting. Pick the one with snacks.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You thrive during New Moon Sound Healing, silently setting intentions that feel slightly intimidating to others.
Cosmic Tip: Relaxation doesn’t have to feel like a villain origin story.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You bounce from basketball games to jiu jitsu seminars to wine tastings, wondering why your calendar feels personal.
Cosmic Tip: You don’t have to attend everything. (You still will.)
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
You show up prepared for strategic planning, training sessions, and anything with the word “responsible” in it.
Cosmic Tip: It’s okay to loosen up at Thursday Tea. No agenda required.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
You’re oddly energized by Every Neighbor Counts, followed by deep conversations at sound healing that no one else fully understands.
Cosmic Tip: Your ideas are valid. They’re just… ahead of schedule.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You’re emotionally moved by Steel Magnolias, spiritually soothed by wine tastings, and nostalgic at birthday celebrations.
Cosmic Tip: Feelings are not a weakness. But maybe hydrate.
If you appreciate the value our local journalism brings to the community, please consider making a recurring contribution to the Excelsior Citizen!
