Brought to you by Molly Roberts Studio and Metaphysical, 253 E Broadway, downtown Excelsior Springs
Dance like no one’s watching, snack like everyone’s jealous, and try not to overshare at meetings.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will approach the Mambo Workshop like it’s a competitive sport and somehow turn a dance step into cardio. Later, City Council will test your patience and your inside voice.
Cosmic Tip: Not every meeting needs your enthusiasm at full volume.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You are spiritually aligned with the Chocolate Tour and Elkhorn Day at Donnici’s, refusing to rush anything that involves snacks.
Cosmic Tip: Yes, chocolate counts as self-care. Argue with the universe.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You’ll dominate conversation at Board Game Intramural, explain the rules three times, and still feel misunderstood.
Cosmic Tip: You don’t have to narrate every move like it’s ESPN.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You’ll get emotional during Letters to Loved Ones, then immediately spiral during Steel Magnolias because you forgot how feelings work.
Cosmic Tip: Crying is allowed. Just don’t smudge the programs.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will enter Galentine’s Day Party like it’s your personal awards ceremony. Compliments will be accepted. Expected, even.
Cosmic Tip: Save some spotlight for others. Or don’t — we know you won’t.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You attend Cornerstone PTO and High School Parent Night fully prepared, mentally correcting everyone else’s notes.
Cosmic Tip: You are allowed to relax at Thursday Tea. No spreadsheets.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You can’t decide between Waltz, Tango, or staying home — so you’ll do all three badly and call it balance.
Cosmic Tip: Grace comes with practice. Or wine. Preferably both.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You’ll attend Tuesday Night VRP Sessions quietly intense, saying very little but thinking very loudly.
Cosmic Tip: Not every silence has to be mysterious. But it helps.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You’ll wander into Movie in the Pool with zero plan and somehow end up making new friends.
Cosmic Tip: You don’t need to cannonball. But you will.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
You treat City Council and Merchant Mingle like performance reviews. Internally. For everyone.
Cosmic Tip: It’s okay to loosen up at Elkhorn Day. The sandwich won’t judge you.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
You’re fascinated by Archery with Rulon, convinced it’s symbolic of something deeper.
Cosmic Tip: Not everything is a metaphor. But keep pretending it is.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You’ll float through Letters to Loved Ones, get dreamy at Steel Magnolias, and emotionally attach to at least one stranger.
Cosmic Tip: Boundaries are important. So are tissues.
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