Brought to you by Molly Roberts Studio and Metaphysical, 253 E Broadway, downtown Excelsior Springs
The temperature’s dropping, but Excelsior’s social life is not. Between wine igloos, school plays, and whatever’s happening at The Rage Cave, the stars are spinning faster than your favorite barista’s espresso machine.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You’re sprinting into the week at Team 5k Running Group like it’s a race to outrun responsibility. By Friday, you’ll be sitting perfectly still at Fireside Friday, explaining to strangers how you “used to be an athlete.”
Cosmic Tip: The Swim-In Movie isn’t an endurance test, Aries. You can just float.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You crave comfort this week, Taurus — and the universe delivers: Applebee’s Pancake Breakfast, Happy Hour at The Candle Bar, and Fence Stile’s Igloos are all calling your name. You’ll ignore your diet, your to-do list, and possibly your texts.
Cosmic Tip: If anyone asks, carbs are a “spiritual choice.”
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You’ll spend the week overcommitting — from Mahjong with Melinda to Open Mic Night, where you’ll perform stand-up no one asked for. Half the crowd laughs; the other half googles “Is Mercury in retrograde again?”
Cosmic Tip: Your multitasking is impressive, but you don’t need to live-tweet The Little Mermaid.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You’ll feel nostalgic at The Little Mermaid and then emotional at Making Peace — the stars are calling this “healing,” your friends call it “Tuesday.” When in doubt, bake something and pretend it’s therapy.
Cosmic Tip: Go to Fireside Friday and dramatically stare into the flames like it’s your own season finale.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Leo, between Mahjong lessons and Solana’s Birthday Bash, you’re basically the star of every event. You’ll be spotted at Warbird Whiskey, basking in the glow of attention and maybe bourbon fumes.
Cosmic Tip: You don’t need to audition for The Little Mermaid; we all know you are Ursula.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You’ve got the whole week planned — workouts, writing groups, and recovery programs. Unfortunately, life refuses to follow your spreadsheet. You’ll cope by color-coding your emotions and stress-cleaning your wine glass.
Cosmic Tip: Even you can’t plan for Smashing Opportunities at The Rage Cave, but it might fix what therapy can’t.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Libra, you’re torn between yoga serenity and wine-soaked chaos. Luckily, the stars say both count as “balance.” Expect to leave Energy Healing calm and glowing… only to lose your Zen in Elkhorn Elementary’s Fallingo traffic.
Cosmic Tip: If indecision strikes, the answer is always “Happy Hour.”
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpio, you’re magnetic this week — and possibly dangerous. You’ll dominate Chess Club, whisper secrets during Open Mic Night, and lock eyes with someone mysterious at Fence Stile Igloos.
Cosmic Tip: Your “brooding under the stars” moment is cinematic — until someone trips on a cheese board.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You’re everywhere: BYOC Crafting, Wine Tours, Car Shows, Rage Cave — are you even sleeping? The stars are worried, but also impressed. You call it “living life to the fullest,” your body calls it “please hydrate.”
Cosmic Tip: You’ll buy knitting supplies at Knit Ewe Together and never touch them again.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Capricorn, you’re feeling productive, so naturally you attend the Historic Preservation Commission meeting (for fun) and Donnici’s Car Show (for control). But secretly? You’re daydreaming about Donny Altman’s live set and budgeting for mulled wine.
Cosmic Tip: You can’t micromanage The Universe, but nice try.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Aquarius, you’ll float from Yoga at Infinitea Magik to Energy Healing at Solana, declaring you’ve achieved enlightenment — but really, you’re just relaxed and a little tipsy.
Cosmic Tip: At The Atlas Open Mic, don’t perform your interpretive poem about Mercury retrograde. Again.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Pisces, it’s your season of feelings — Toddler Swim triggers nostalgia, The Little Mermaid gives you existential crises, and Wine Tours heal you completely. You’re 60% emotion, 40% merlot.
Cosmic Tip: At Fence Stile’s Igloos, whisper your secrets to the wine — it’s the only one listening.
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