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Excelsior Springs, Mo. — On the evening of March 25, the meeting room of the Excelsior Springs Library was filled with residents eager to hear from Missouri’s leading advocate for the power of being a good neighbor. David Burton, widely recognized as the state’s “neighboring guru,” delivered a heartfelt and humorous presentation that mixed personal stories, social research, and a clear message: strong communities are built one conversation at a time.
Burton, who serves as a Field Specialist in Community Development for the University of Missouri Extension, has become a leading figure in the national neighboring movement. Through programs like Neighboring 101, Missouri Good Neighbor Week, and his “Engaged Neighbor” initiative, Burton has encouraged thousands of Missourians to rediscover the importance of front porches, block parties, and simple hellos.
“It’s great to be in historic Excelsior Springs,” Burton began. “It’s been 25 years since I was here… a little bit has changed in that time.” He gave special recognition to Excelsior Springs Neighborhood Specialist Laura Mize, who organized the event and has long participated in his virtual programming. “You have a jewel here in Laura,” he said, noting that while they had spent “maybe a hundred hours on Zoom together,” this was their first time meeting face-to-face.
A Personal Neighboring Awakening
Burton shared that his passion for neighboring came not from academic research but from a moment of personal reflection in 2019. After years of suburban busyness, he and his wife realized they hardly knew anyone on their street. “We only knew the name of one of our neighbors, and that was a challenging relationship because we’re a Cardinals household and they’re avid Cubs fans,” he joked.
Recognizing their apathy, David and his wife decided to break the ice the old-fashioned way—with a plate of homemade cookies. “It may not seem like a big deal,” he said, “but my wife makes really good chocolate chip cookies… the idea of giving them away was a little hard to swallow.”
Their simple act of goodwill began to open doors—literally. One neighbor, who initially cracked her door with suspicion, later revealed she was a hoarder with a broken stove and only one working toilet. Thanks to the connection they made, Burton and his wife were able to help get in touch with her children and provide support. “That wasn’t really the kind of activity I was necessarily looking to have,” Burton said. “But it was an opportunity to bless someone else.”
Neighboring as a Response to Cultural Drift
Throughout his talk, Burton presented compelling data on the state of American social life. Trust in neighbors has declined dramatically—from 60% of Missourians in 1972 to just 20% in 2022. Younger generations are increasingly likely to avoid neighborly interaction, citing discomfort or fear of awkwardness. “We don’t trust what we don’t know,” he explained. “And we increasingly don’t know our neighbors.”
He contrasted this with the social strength of earlier generations. “When I was growing up, we were excited when the doorbell rang,” Burton recalled. “There was a cake under glass in the kitchen just for the neighbors. Now when the doorbell rings, we’re peeking out to see if we should hide.”
Burton explained that this shift is not just about technology or busyness—it’s cultural. A statewide survey he conducted in 2022 and 2024 found that the top two traits Missourians now associate with being a good neighbor are “being quiet” and “respecting privacy.” In other words, he said, “we’ve gone from saying a good neighbor is someone who invites us over for dinner to someone who leaves us alone.”
Reversing the Trend, One Lawn Chair at a Time
Despite the sobering data, Burton’s message remained optimistic and actionable. He shared a four-step process for building social capital: learn neighbors’ names, find opportunities to use them, host simple gatherings, and pursue shared projects.
“You don’t need a bounce house or a magician,” he said. “We started with what we called driveway chats—bring your own beverage and a lawn chair. Our first one had six people. Last fall, our last one had 72.”
He encouraged attendees to start small and build gradually. “Relationships are like crockpot meals,” he explained. “They take time—low and slow.” Citing a study from the University of Kansas, he noted that it takes around 50 hours to become a casual friend, 90 to be a friend, and 200 to become a close friend. “It’s not about quality time—it’s just time.”
Burton also urged residents to invite neighbors into their existing routines. “I love basketball,” he said. “So I started inviting my neighbors to the high school tournament I always go to. We didn’t learn much new about each other—we just watched basketball. But it created a bond.”
Excelsior’s Own Neighboring Momentum
Burton praised several local examples of effective neighboring in Excelsior Springs, including “Flamingo Fridays” in the West Springs neighborhood. Organized by Mark and Lisa Walter, these gatherings are simple, recurring get-togethers marked by two pink flamingos in the driveway and a come-as-you-are vibe. “It’s just a lovely time of everybody sitting in a driveway with lawn chairs and a drink,” he said.
Following Burton’s presentation, Laura Mize announced a new citywide initiative: The Block Party Challenge, aimed at encouraging 50 neighbor gatherings in Excelsior Springs between Easter and October. The gatherings can be as small as coffee with a few households or as large as a full block party. “We’re blessed with a brand new park in our neighborhood,” Mize said, “so I’m going to take advantage of that new space to host one myself.”
Burton cheered the idea, citing a similar effort in Colorado Springs, where the mayor challenged residents to host 1,000 block parties over the summer. “It was the talk of the town,” he said. “And the momentum it gave to their neighboring efforts was incredible.”
“Paint Your Dot”
To close the evening, Burton shared an image of the famous pointillist painting A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte by Georges Seurat. Up close, the painting appears as thousands of tiny colored dots—but together, they form a vivid scene.
“Maybe I’m this dot right here,” Burton said. “Where’s your dot? You have responsibility for making that dot the best possible dot you can. That’s your role. That’s your sphere of influence. And when we all do that, we end up with a beautiful picture.”
Residents left the event not only inspired but equipped—with Neighboring Grids, handouts, and a renewed sense of purpose. As Burton put it: “What’s one thing you can do this week to strengthen your neighbor connections? It doesn’t have to be big. Maybe it’s just learning a name.”
For resources, to take the Engaged Neighbor Pledge, or to find inspiration for your own gathering, visit www.engagedneighbor.com or www.nomoregoodneighbors.com.
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