Brought to you by Molly Roberts Studio and Metaphysical, 253 E Broadway, downtown Excelsior Springs
It’s cold, it’s busy, and somehow everyone is either at a basketball game, a wine cave, or karaoke.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You’ll kick off the week with Team 5K Running Group, fueled by ambition and questionable footwear. By midweek, you’re yelling encouragement at an away basketball game like you’re the coach now.
Cosmic Tip: Karaoke Night is not an audition. Please stop pointing at the crowd.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You’re drawn to comfort this week — Dominoes, Thursday Tea, and the siren song of Fence Stile Igloos. Cold weather? Irrelevant.
Cosmic Tip: If there’s a blanket involved, that counts as an event.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You’ll bounce between Board Game Intramural, Scholar Bowl, and Karaoke, talking nonstop and somehow still feeling unheard.
Cosmic Tip: Explaining the rules again does not make the game more fun.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You’re emotionally invested in Youth Mental Health First Aid, then need immediate recovery via tea, wine, or birdwatching.
Cosmic Tip: Crying during Winter Backyard Birding is acceptable. Birds understand.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will treat Wrestling Senior Night like a red-carpet event. There will be dramatic clapping. Possibly standing ovations.
Cosmic Tip: The spotlight doesn’t follow you everywhere… but it does hover nearby.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You are thriving at Chair Mobility and Garden Club, quietly judging posture and soil technique.
Cosmic Tip: Not everyone wants feedback. Especially about mulch.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You cannot choose between Spirit in the Caves, Sound Healing, or Tea on Thompson, so you do all three and call it “balance.”
Cosmic Tip: Pick one vibe and commit for at least 30 minutes.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You are intense at New Moon Sound Healing, silently plotting your next move while everyone else is relaxing.
Cosmic Tip: Relaxation is not a competition.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You’ll bounce from Masters Swim Clinic to an away basketball game, then wonder why you’re exhausted.
Cosmic Tip: You don’t have to attend everything. But you will.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
You show up to City Council prepared, caffeinated, and mentally rewriting the agenda.
Cosmic Tip: It’s okay to loosen up at Dominoes. No scorekeeping spreadsheets allowed.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
You’re deeply fascinated by Winter Backyard Birding and Meet the Author, asking questions that are just slightly off-topic.
Cosmic Tip: Yes, the birds are symbols. No, no one asked.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You float between Sound Healing, Tea, and Fence Stile Igloos, emotionally absorbing the entire week.
Cosmic Tip: Hydration applies to feelings too.
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